Being a parent is an emotional experience! Being a twin mom doubles those emotions and comes with its own set of challenges and rewards.
Mom to two boys, Kalum and Jay-dee (10), Chandre wears the title of “boy mom” with pride, and shares her twin-journey with us.
What are you most proud of when it comes to your twin boys Jay-Dee and Kalum?
My boys are so unique in their own way. Each one will talk to me and express their emotions and feelings in completely different ways, be it when they are in a state of panic, happiness, excitement or simply when they want to say, “ag mamma ek is lief vir jou.”
What does it mean to you to be a “boy mom”?
I absolutely love being a boy mom! My boys are always up for an adventure, be it a holiday, a trip to the beach, an afternoon stroll or accompanying me on a work trip abroad. They are always willing to go places with their mom, which I love. It’s always a lot of fun with my two boys, and we can always be ourselves together and act as silly as we want.
What important life lessons do you believe your boys should learn at an early age?
I hope my boys learn that they should stay grounded, and treat people with respect, and also know that they should work hard for something they want. Life does not owe you anything.
What personality trait do you most admire in each of your boys?
Kalum is a free spirited child. He is the oldest and will normally walk into a shop or salon and say hello to everyone and start talking about his interests and what his opinion is. He has a British accent that is too cute.
Jay-dee is my little one. He has a very mature nature and will always give me compliments on my nails or my hair and tell me I look beautiful. He is very shy, with cute dimples, but loves dishing out compliments.
What has been the biggest challenge when raising twins?
Raising twins can be a full-time job on its own. Routine is of the utmost importance, but what I would remind twin-mom’s is that although they are born together, they must always be treated as individuals as one can get lost emotionally very quickly.
What advice do you have for new parents raising twins?
My best advice would be to slot them into a routine as quickly as possible and to have dedicated time with each child individually as much as you spend time together with them at the same time. You never truly get to know the real them by doing things together. That was one hard lesson I had to face when they were around 3-years-old.
What is your fondest memory of the boys whilst growing up?
The day they started talking. I got up one morning and I was called “Bokkie”. I thought I was crazy, but I looked at them and they repeated the word and started giggling. I just burst into happy tears and showered them with hugs and kisses. It was such a special moment.
How would you describe yourself as a parent?
I would describe myself as a very modern mom. I don’t hide things from my children and I take the time to ask how they feel and I try to be honest in the best ways possible. We listen to music together, go on adventures together, do shopping together and much more. I am very involved in their daily lives which is important and special to me as a mom.
What does unconditional love mean to you?
Unconditional love, to me, means that no matter what problem or issue you’re faced with, or what you have overcome could ever override my love for them. I am there to protect them, provide them with safety, the hugs and kisses, and to take care of them if one has fallen or gotten hurt. Unconditional love may have its faults but that could never be the reason to withdraw your emotional love towards someone.
What are your top 3 tips to stay sane while raising twins?
- Have patience and make time for yourself. Whilst being a mom is a full-time job and always comes first, always make time for yourself too. Even if it’s just a cup of coffee alone, or heading to your favourite salon to treat yourself once a month – having that bit of time to refresh and regroup is so important. You can’t be the best mom if you’re not able to be the best version of yourself.
- Play with your kids. Whether it’s playing ball, building a puzzle, or simply enjoying a Disney movie, sometimes it’s good for the soul to spend time with your kids doing what they do and it brings us such joy and happiness.
- Understand their language – whether they’re 1, 5 or 10, communication is key, and will save you from many premature grey hairs. Talk to your children and try to make sense of the way they communicate, whether it’s through words, gestures or body language. But most of all, be patient with them.
Follow Chandre’s Mrs SA journey on Instagram.
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