Mariah Carey recently reflected on an extremely uncomfortable TV interview on the Ellen DeGeneres Show where the popular host tried to force her to admit she’s pregnant. The 50-year-old song legend said that she was, in fact, expecting at the time but wasn’t ready to reveal the news of her pregnancy to the public.
Looking back, Mariah explains in an interview earlier this week, it put her in a tricky situation. “I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, because I had had a miscarriage… I didn’t enjoy that moment.”
In fact, Mariah went on to have a miscarriage not long after the segment on the show.
All the reasons NOT to ask moms, “Are you pregnant?”
The clip has gone viral in the wake of an internal investigation into bullying and harassment on the set of The Ellen Show, but watching it, we didn’t need Mariah to tell us how uncomfortable the situation made her feel. Seeing her squirm and make excuses for not revealing her pregnancy, it all felt so familiar. How many of us have been pressurized like this by friends, family and colleagues?
For some strange reason, we feel people still don’t get it that the question, “Are you pregnant?” is never an acceptable question. That is, unless you’re asking for medical or safety reasons! And it doesn’t stop there: we’re sure many have felt the pressure to reveal their pregnancy news even after you’ve said no or decided to just keep quiet.
As has been pointed out by many women, probing into someone’s reproductive lives is just not on anymore. Not only is it really annoying and invasive, it can really hit a painful nerve. It could be the person in question is struggling to conceive or, like Mariah, recently suffered a miscarriage. It could also be that the person is feeling self-conscious about having put on weight or that the bloated tummy you’re seeing is the result of a recent round of fertility treatment. And maybe, just maybe, that person is pregnant but just not ready to share her news yet.
What we do know for sure is that if someone is pregnant and wants to share the news with you, you can be sure that they will tell you their exciting news when they’re ready.
Content editor and writer on Living & Loving, Sonya has over 25 years experience in the media industry. She edited Living & Loving magazine for six-and-a-half years and is the former editor of Longevity magazine. She’s won numerous media industry awards and is passionate about the health and wellbeing of moms and children.
Outside of work, she enjoys trying out recipes, reading crime mysteries and thrillers, practicing yoga, and exploring new destinations.
Learn more about Sonya Naudé.